Tag: lonely

when God’s love letter appears unexpectedly

Karla Lees

I have searched the whole world to find you. You are My Beloved. The one I have chosen. The one I love.

I have a deep seeded cry I have left unspoken for a very long time.

It is possible to appear normal on the outside but to have a  broken piece within crying out for healing.

I know, because God showed up in the service today and read my mail.

I have struggled with a deep sense of loneliness for several years now.

Unshared.
Unspoken.
Unseen.

Or so I thought.

God knew.
God heard.
God saw.

Following a time of intimate worship this morning, our pastor shared what He had placed on his heart.

The first piece of mail was mine.

Just like the woman who had been bleeding for years, desperate for healing, I too was shocked that Jesus shared my most intimate need in public.

But I know why He did.

Just as that woman who touched His hem and was instantly healed, something needed to shift beyond what was touched within me.

I needed to hear He loved me, outloud.

That He passionately pursues me.

That I am His, and He is mine.

That I do not need to be lonely anymore within His love.

My heart is safe in His hands, and all my broken and restored pieces matter to Him.

Everything about me matters to Him.

And the same is true about you.

Today, let the lover of your soul in.

You too will be changed beyond imagination, and loved beyond measure.

Whether you are heart broken, single, married, widowed, on your own, in the family you were born in or welcomed into: you are loved.

Deeply.

Faithfully.

Eternally.

May His love be the best Valentine’s gift you too receive again today.

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community: family by choice

Karla Lees

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I am very blessed in community.

I know several people who feel like they are all alone in their circumstances or situations, and the reality is: often it’s due to your choices.

We don’t always reach out to show our need nor vulnerability when we can, so we essentially build a wall to block out connection when everything within us may be craving it.

Connection begins with a choice to be vulnerable, and let someone in.

Community happens when hearts are knit together through regular connection.

Family occurs when God blesses community with a love which can only come through weathering the storms arm in arm, knowing your family has your back and won’t leave you on your own.

Jesus modeled this well while He walked among us.

He carried an atmosphere of invitation to those who were outcast and lonely in society, and they came.

The disciples are a perfect example of choosing to connect, seeing what someone is capable of beyond their current situation, becoming community through shared living, and becoming family by choice.

God deliberately chooses to connect with each of us.  He wants us to live in close community with Him, Abba Jesus Holy Spirit.  He wants you to walk knowing you are already in His forever family, even if we aren’t physically there yet.

God didn’t choose those we would automatically assume would be on the inside.

For His community is family by His choice.

●Cain, marked with His divine protection despite his crime.

●Jacob, wrestling with God after stealing his brother’s birthright.

●Saul, more concerned with following his fears than God’s leading.

●David, lacking strong self control over his attraction to women.

●Solomon, who tried everything under the sun to come to the realization that without God, all is futile.

●Paul, murderer of the faithful.

●Moses, the stutterer.

And just so we keep it real, there were also women He chose to include in His community which make us sit up and pay attention:

○Sarai, who laughed off the Promise to come.

○Hagar, who took off when things got tough.

○Pilate’s Roman wife, who had dreams of the Jewish Messiah.

○Elizabeth, barren for so long she must have given up hope of a child, chosen to bear the forerunner to the Messiah. (And her priest husband ●Zachariah, struck dumb when he doubted the angel delivering God’s Good News, in the Holy of Holies!)

○Tamar, who tricked her father-in-law to do the right thing but broke the law to do so.

○The Samaritan woman at the well, with her colourful history, spreading the word about living water.

All of these people are and were part of His story through the family He chose to create.

And we are included.

We have the opportunity to build community and family wherever we are,  for we carry God with us.

The Father who is just waiting for us to come near and join the family.

The Son who is just waiting to connect with us and not only show us who we truly are but help us become whole.

The Holy Spirit who draws us into community, helping us to see beyond our natural sight the Kingdom He is shaping about us.

Community is family by choice.

It has always been God’s choice to choose you.

It is your choice to accept the invitation of life long family and beyond which He has always offered, or stand alone on your own two feet.

Only you can make the decision to move into connection, to stay isolated in your current situation.

Community is family by choice.

Coventry Carol

Karla Lees

Lullay, Thou little tiny Child,
By, by, lully, lullay.
Lullay, Thou little tiny Child.
By, by, lully, lullayb

The days in which God determines Jesus was to arrive here on earth were tremulous ones.

Great political unrest, overtaxing, long hard days forced to serve ‘landlords’ not of your choosing. Revolution was constantly simmering when it wasn’t breaking out against the oppressors.

God’s people were crying out for their Messiah.

When Herod began the slaughter of all the boy children of Israel in the hopes of destroying the newborn King, many families were suddenly grieving and wailing and grieving over the sudden loss of their children.

For you know who hoped to stop God in His tracks, in a feeble attempt to undermine His will, but a very costly one to those left with empty arms and wounded hearts.

Many likely thought all hope was lost.

And into that exact time and place, God chose to deliver His people through Jesus, soon to be delivered into the world as one of His people, as well as His Beloved son.

God did not let the madness of one fearful king halt the delivery method He was choosing to set His people free.

We know that God has always heard the cries of His people for deliverance, and mourned with them over their losses. The Bible is full of true life stories of His rescues.

If you are empty armed, missing your loved one, whether they have passed on or are on the other side of the country or world?

God hears your pain and lament.

I believe this song must have been written by someone who lost a child, and was horrified by reading the account of Herod killing an entire generation of boys.

We all should be, for God was horrified by it as well.

So full of compassion for His people, He sent His Son to us, to give us a beacon of Hope we could reach out and touch.

Because our God is the God of all comfort, justice, hope and compassion.

He couldn’t turn away from the cries of the brokenhearted. The frustrated. The poor. The exhausted. The empty armed. Those grieving. Those without hope.

This Christmas, if you hear this song of lament, be reminded of His compassion.

Each person ever in history has mattered to Him.

Those you have lost or had taken from you included.

Jesus came as one of the weakest to show us that weakness does not mean God cannot use you.

He came as one of us to show us that God understands the frailties of humanity first hand.

He came as an expression of God’s great love for each and every one of us.

And is right there beside us when we are hurting, feeling lost, wavering in our hope, and needing a God would can reach out and hold us as we lament.

So if you need to cry this Christmas, for it isn’t the holiday you thought it would be?

Allow Him to rock you in His loving arms as you lament.

God came right smack dab in the middle of turmoil to be there with us, for us, as one of us.

That same Love has not changed, and never will.
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Historical Background:

This lyrics for this piece were written in 1534 for a Christmas pageant by Robert Croo, the composer is still unknown, but believed to be in the early 1500’s.

home is where your family is found

Karla Lees

I have a confession to make.

I love being in family.

I love family in all its quirks, black sheep, & uniqueness through the ups & downs of living life in close quarters.

I have found over the years that when I have been the loneliest, I have not been keeping in close touch with family.

God sets the lonely in families.
Psalm 68:6

Or my translation:
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And much as I love my earthly family, and the family I have made through friendship & church, I have discovered those aren’t the most important family connections for me to avoid loneliness. You can still feel lonely in a crowd of people who love you. Which I know first hand.

Because I have a tendency to feel like the black sheep, and want to hide when I don’t feel like I fit.  I am not gifted like many of my family members, and have felt on the outside looking in for more time than I care to admit….which is one of the number one contributors to my feeling lonely.

When loneliness swirls about me like a fog, I need to press in and draw close to my heavenly family, for:

My Father reminds me who I am to Him… chosen.

Jesus anchors me in the family…. beloved.

Holy Spirit guides me along the journey… pursued.

Together they want me, mold me, cleanse me, shape me, heal me, laugh with me, cry with me, comfort me and make me the best me I can be when i spend time in their Presence.

I am not a black sheep in God’s family…for all His sheep have been made white through the blood of the Lamb.

I can be myself, as God designed, when I am in His Presence.

I have found that sharing my words through writing, worshipping in song & silence, and spending time sinking into the Word, I draw closer to my Family, and somehow I also feel closer to my earthly family.

When we know we are loved, we are better able to offer love to those around us, especially the ones who know us the best – warts, quirks & all!

I want to thank you, reader, for sharing this, my 501st post to my blog!

To celebrate, please let me know if one of the below would interest you to read about by Feb 13th, and as a thanks offering back to you all, I will post about the most requested one on Feb 14th!

1. The Father’s Love

2. Psalm 139

3. The Prodigal Son

4. Psalm 23

Blessings,

Karla 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

lonely, so lonely

Karla Lees

After losing this piece twice by trying to directly post it to Facebook, I have decided to press through and post it as my blog post for today.

It relates to the Christmas story, so I am going to run with it 🙂

I bet Mary & Joseph felt very lonely in their separate situations before getting married.

Its not every day you see an angel who gives you remarkable news.

Notice the angel didn’t appear to both of them together about the coming of Jesus, but individually.

They weren’t alone, for God was with them through it all, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t feel lonely along the way.

I have decided to go public about my previously private struggle with loneliness.

This week, I have realized I also struggle with SAD.  This is the third winter I have felt blue, which doesn’t help my lonely feelings other than to amp them up.

There, i said it.

This morning, I felt like a freight truck of obvious collided with me as I read the article I have linked below:

http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/if-you-ever-feel-lonely-read-this/

I can relate to entering a full room and feeling alone.  Set aside, like I don’t belong.

Then I hear the whispers of truth combat the lies the enemy has planted, like land mines waiting for the right pressure to ignite.

I am wanted.

I am set apart, not set aside.

I have been lovingly handcrafted with care.

I am irreplaceable, unique, one of a kind.

There will never be another me.

I have a purpose that only I can fulfill.

God is with me.
24/7, I am in his gaze and on His heart.

Loneliness is an emotion, more like a side effect that may come with a job, or particular situation.

Purpose is a fact. Recorded for you to be able to revisit as needed.

How can we tell which of the people we know or meet are struggling with loneliness, feeling unwanted?

We can’t always tell. Many of us hide our struggle away, because we fear the rejection that could come if we admit it out loud.

And we can’t always hear God say who is struggling in our hustle and bustle, because  the reality is we aren’t always listening at the right moment.

There are three key things you can do with everyone you meet which can help, and make you appear approachable:

1. Make eye contact.
2. Smile.
3. Share a kind word, encourage them if you can.

Spending time in the Word helps steady me, as does getting enough rest, and regular time with my support team.

Spending time in the world can heighten my struggle, so I try to limit how much I do in a day, to try and maintain my perspective, especially in the winter.

Christmas can be a time of heightened emotions. The extra weight of expectation can weigh heavily upon us as we try to get more done in the same amount of time, preparing for the holidays.

If you struggle with loneliness or being unwanted, this can make you question why. Why bother?

The Christmas story gives a beautiful example of why God can down to be with us.

Its actually the highlight of the story to me, because it meets me exactly where I am at.

When the angels invited the shepherds to the birth of their King.

Did you know shepherding is one of the loneliest and lowliest jobs of the day?  Shepherds were the outcasts, pretty much one step above lepers. They were sent out to live with their flocks, a lonely job, especially if there was only enough flock for one.

God purposefully invited the lowliest to sit at the feet of the Mightiest, and worship Him.

Not only that, but their invitation was mind-blowingly amazingly special. A whole choir of angels singing His praises, and the invitation to join them in welcoming their King.

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We have all been invited.
Some times, we need to be reminded of our invitation.

Reminded of the truth:

God didn’t come for only those who have it all together.

He chose the humble to parent His son, a virgin betrothed to a carpenter, from a small town.

He shared the good news first with outcasts & outsiders before the insiders were notified.

The only fanfare in His arrival?
The spectacular display of angelic voices- seen only by the shepherds and their flocks. Yet God didn’t see that as a waste, rather a special invitation it would be hard to ignore.

Our position, our emotion, our standing- none of that can disqualify us from our invitation…

All are invited to worship the King this Christmas:
the lonely.
the hurt.
the outcast.
the broken.

May you too find hope in His Presence this Advent, and may He rekindle your joy at His arrival.

His purpose for coming to earth?
For all to feel welcome.

Come to the manger.
Come, let us adore Him,
Christ the Lord.
God with us.
His gift.
For you,
for me.

#AdventuresinAdvent

holding back?

Karla Lees

You never lose by loving.
You only lose by holding back.

@WomanDoItAll tweet

part of me
is curled tight
clenched within
the very core of who I am

it started as a seed
but instead of planting
it to let it grow,
unfurl in Your presence
I buried it inside
away from Your light…
letting it starve
from lack of connection,
lonely from
a lack of love

I hold myself back
so well
all the enemy has to do
is point to the road ahead
and my imagination
runs amok
pondering all the possibilities
fear, worry and loneliness
can conjure when
the faith within
has been held back
out of reach from
Your loving,
healing touch

as I learn
to trust You even more
i led down the
guard I built within
the wall to keep
what I feared out
but in reality
locks part of me
within
away from the very hope
it needed to deepen
and mature

in one whoosh
freedom is released
like a rushing wind
blowing out the
shards of pretense
and enabling
Holy Spirit to move on in
and remodel the place
He loves to live in

‘No more holding back’
He gently whispers
to my soul
‘I want you free
the way We designed you to be.
Flying high,
trusting deeply,
letting us lead,
increasing our Glory
as you walk out
Our story
through you’

My eyelids
begin to close
and down droops
my nose
as my head bobs
to almost touch my chin
as Your peace floods
into my heart,
confirming what I knew
from the start

I already know You
will win, God
help me live out the truth
that
I will never lose
by letting You love me
inside & out,
i only lose
when i hold myself back
from the fullness
You offer
in Your Presence

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Am I ever alone?

Karla Lees

This morning, I was feeling pretty low.

Snoring has been interfering in part with my sleep pattern, I was feeling lonely, achy and crampy this morning.

If I had spoken, it would have likely been grouchy before 8 am. Not my usual early bird chipper.

So I posted the following to my personal Facebook page, because I knew I needed some additional prayer support as I prepped to head into work:

It has been a real roller coaster of emotion & health the past four daze (spelling intentional) for the gals of our family. Please pray, that through it all, we can keep hearing our Shepherd’s voice, and know that we know that we know He is with, and for us. (Keeping it honest, and as real as we can while still keeping it private. We are okay, just rattled!)

All day, I have had brief messages in reply, letting me know I am being prayed for, and  reassuring me that God is with me.

One timely post in particular, Isaiah 43:1-4,  caught my full attention. God used it to remind me how I can rest in His Presence, and soak in the hope I have in Him:

Don’t be afraid,  I’ve redeemed you.
I’ve called your name. You’re mine.
When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.
When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you’re between a rock and a hard place,
it won’t be a dead end—
Because I am God, your personal God,
The Holy of Israel, your Savior.
I paid a huge price for you:
all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!
That’s how much you mean to me!
That’s how much I love you!
I’d sell off the whole world to get you back,
trade the creation just for you. )MSG)

God brought the following to mind out of this passage as i pondered it over my day:

1.  I have no need to fear: I am His. Set free. Called by name, personally,

2.  God is holding my head above the waters as I look to Him.  My life preserver.

3. There is no dead end ahead of me, for God is with me.  Always present.

4. The cost has been covered in full for me.  Paid for.

5. I am adored by God. He loves me. Passionately.

6. There is nowhere I can go where He would not move the whole world to get me back. Pursued.

My God is Personally involved with me.

Preserved my life. Paid the debt for my freedom.

Ever present, He passionately pursues me,

Am i ever alone?

No!

Lonely is a feeling, not a location.

God’s word says He is always with me.

An eternal God, everywhere in every time, forever.

Despite my feelings, i can trust in the truth and character of the God I know.

May you be encouraged to be real with Him, ask for support when you need it from those you trust around you, and sink deep into the Word to lift your spirit again.

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belong

Karla Lees

One of the downsides to working part time is missing out on the same camaraderie those who work full time share.

The same can be said about our walk with God.

God isn’t interested in part time relationship.

He is ours full time, 24/7, 365.

And beyond.

We think of time in forward increments, God sees all time at any time.

He is, after all, eternal.

When I keep too busy with life, I tend to waver on knowing where I belong.

God is always there to remind me I belong to Him.

He belongs to me.

Nor because of anything I have done, will or can do…
but because I am the only me He made.

That alone makes me, and you, precious to our Creator.

But He didn’t end there.

When we kept wandering, as the distracted tend to do, away from Him, and failed to focus on the words He kept speaking to us through His Word & prophets…
He sent the Word.

To live among us.
To walk beside us.
To listen to our hurts.
To heal our brokenness.
To love away our loneliness.
To touch us- heart, mind, soul & body.
To set us free through the death we deserved.

To know, without doubt, we belong.

We are His.

He bought us at great price, and will never stop calling out to us to come: be known by Him, and know Him.

When we spend a great deal of time with others, we develop a sense of belonging: that we fit, we are good together, which only makes us want to spend even more time together.

We become tightknit, close than we sometimes could ever dream possible.

We know that we know we belong.

If you struggle with knowing where you belong, look no further than His Word, His heart poured out in a love letter like no other.

God reminds us each and every day that we have a place where we belong.

With Him.

God reminds us each moment that we are treasures.

To Him.

God draws us close in His embrace, so we can rest.

In Him.

The belonging you long for?
It is a precious gift,
offered,
given,
by Him.

May you draw closer to His Presence than you can imagine, as He reminds you how much you belong to Him, always.

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finding spiritual whitespace

Karla Lees

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There are times when you pick up a book, and you really have no idea what you are getting into.

This is one such book.

After the introduction, I will confess I was teary eyed with relief.

I am not alone in how I feel.

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By the end of chapter 6, I was not the same.

I was more at rest after underlining, rereading and journalling that I have been for years, possibly ever.

You see, God is both the giver and designer of how we are to rest.

With Him…

and

In Him…

With Him, and He with me.
I am never alone.
He is always with me,
despite what feelings or circumstances may dictate.

In Him, and He in me.
His presence is in this temple.
He lives in me,
As I choose to hide myself away in Him.
My refuge, my comfort, my shield.

Within.

He lives in me, and I within Him…..

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We reunited on a deeper level after a few chapters of accepting His love for me,revealing a new truth to me as we went.

Every single thing I have ever lived through
matters to Him.

For I am His, and He is mine.
Beloved.

I can hardly wait to learn what freedom and understanding He has for me in the next few chapters!!!

All i need is You

Karla Lees

Left my fear by the side of the road
Hear You speak
Won’t let go
Fall to my knees as I lift my hands to pray

Got every reason to be here again
Father’s love that draws me in
And all my eyes wanna see is a glimpse of You

All I need is You
All I need is You Lord, Is You Lord

One more day and it’s not the same
Your Spirit calls my heart to sing
Drawn to the voice of my Saviour once again
Where would my soul be without Your Son
Gave His life to save the earth
Rest in the thought that You’re watching over me

All I need is You
All I need is You Lord, Is You Lord

–All I Need is You, Hillsongs United

I discovered fear at the side of the road.

On my way home from the hospital after having my tonsils out, I slipped under the shoulder seat belt and out onto the gravel side of the road….

And fear has tried to be my constant companion since.

The time I misplaced my parents in Toronto at a Tall Ships event.

The time someone attempted to pull me via my backpack from the subway doors onto an empty platform.

The day my husband lost his job.

When I started bleeding while pregnant with my second child.

Fear can rise up to try and grab ahold of us whenever we value what it threatens.

And the only thing that gets rid of fear?

God’s presence.

Not only do I feel healthier and become whole in His Presence, but my fear is revealed to be a lure of the enemy to snag me from where God wants me- close to Him.

Jesus just had to come close by a few people in the bible who were under the enemy’s influence, and they cried out in fear, because
His Presence is
holy
awesome
mighty
powerful
and THE Authority in all of heaven and over all the earth.

The demons tremble in fear when God draws near.
Even from a mere glimpse.
For they know His true power.

When we draw closer to Him, the more His light shines on the areas the enemy is trying to keep us in the dark with.
Fear
Anxiety
Insecurity
Unworthiness
Loneliness…

No self help book can do the same for your spirit, soul and body as when the God of the universe speaks your name, and sets you free.

All I need is You, Lord.
All I need is You, Lord…

May we all draw closer to God,
And kick fear to the side of the road
once and for all.

For I know who is watching over me.
And He is all I need, always.

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