I was recently asked to share my testimony at my home church, Northridge Community Church, as a part of their Redeemed series. God perfectly timed it for me to share this particular day as the teaching and worship, both separately prepared, all lined up to be one story of the Father’s love for His children.
How did I first come to faith?
I was three years old when my father died, and although I didn’t know it at that time, his loss left a hole in my heart. My mom remarried a wonderful man I am grateful to call Dad, yet I still felt like I didn’t fit with my immediate family. Being a creative person who has often been called overly sensitive didn’t help, neither did being molested as a pre-teen. This combo of actions and feelings led to feelings of loneliness and intense shame as I began to look for love in all the wrong places as a teen and young adult. I had known about God from growing up in church, but didn’t know Him. I was 21 and singing back up one night for a band, and somehow sensed there was something more for me while singing the song “Heaven.” Around that time, a trio of brothers with whom I went to church sensed that I was at a crossroads, and God used them to help answer my questions about heaven, faith and who God is through the Word, Christian music, and a drama called the Countdown. I accepted Christ 33 years ago this May, and fairly quickly understood what Jesus did for me to become His, but it took a lot longer for me to accept God as Father due to my hurts as a young child and for not making the wisest choices growing up. The Prodigal son passage really spoke to me about being real with my issues, and that all God the Father was waiting for me to do was to run to Him, as Jesus had already done the heavy lifting in clearing my way home. It became apparent that my overly sensitive antenna was actually being able to hear the Holy Spirit. This has brought me much guidance and comfort as I navigated the highs and lows of my journey, knowing God is with me in and through it all.
How is God moving in my life now?
Any time I stray from following what He has for me to do and say, the Father is always waiting to welcome me back home, clean me up, heal my wounds, set me back on the right path, and pour His love into me when I am in His Presence. I am feeling His pull to do more with my gifts and talents, and to be a more intentional follower of His ways. I see how to walk out Kingdom values through the example of Jesus in the Word, I hear Holy Spirit’s direction when I listen for His prompts and guidance, and I rest in the safety of knowing there is nothing I can do to make my Father love me any less, or any more. God has filled that hole in this wounded lonely girl’s heart with more blessing than I could have imagined 33 years ago when I said yes to Him. He has proved Himself to be a good good Father.
What would I say to someone with questions?
I wasted too much time carrying burdens I was never meant to carry, and telling myself the whispers of invitation I had been hearing couldn’t possibly be meant for me, that if God really knew me, He wouldn’t want me. If you are sensing there must be more, that you want to lay down all that is weighing you down inside, or you want to know the truth about why you are here, God will meet you right where you are right now. And as the words of the song which has been playing in my mind all week say, “Run to the Father, fall into grace, I’m done with the hiding, no reason to wait. My heart needs a surgeon, my soul needs a friend, so I’ll run to the Father again and again and again.” And unlike those who have hurt us, He is always approachable, always waiting, always loving, and will never leave you.
KARLA LEES 