Tag: gratitude

name the doubt & grab His hem

Karla Lees

I am more than a bit timid when it comes to asking God for something i want for myself.

In fact, I tend to ask for myself as a tag along, or add on at the end of praying for other people’s needs.

Which isn’t a healthy symptom at all.

You see, that likely means i am not submitting to the fullness of what God has for me.

By struggling to try and cope on my own, i miss out not only on the strength He has for me, but experiencing His care and growing in our relationship.

And I am oh so tired of caring for myself on my own.

I remember reading the verses about the woman with the bleeding issue when i was first a believer, and relating to her:

And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years, but no one could heal her.  Luke 8:43

I too have had an issue with cysts and heavy bleeding since i was 14 years old.  No one has been able to stop it here on earth. I am thankful that it has slowed with medical intervention & eating a healthier diet (staying away from too much caffeine along with all soy & dairy has helped develop less cysts and keep my hormones more in check), but it has not been healed so far…

And today, I acknowledge to myself, God and all of you,  my heart has stopped believing in my dream…. to be able to say the following as part of my testimony:

She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped. Luke 8:44

Boy, putting that into words both hurts and feels freeing to my spirit.

I say i believe, but my trust in His best plan for me has waffled over this issue….literally, of blood.

I believe, I know He can heal, for I have both seen it and experienced it in other ways.

But will He?

The Word reminds us God is our healer in many places, and how He has the best in store for those who love & follow Him.  I believe in that truth deep down.

His capability is not in question in my mind or heart.

His will is for me to be whole, fully restored, and healed.

But will He heal me in this area?

Ultimately, I know when I meet Him face to face as i enter eternity, I will be the me He planned for me to be since creation.  And i do draw comfort in that actuality, that fact yet to pass.

But will He heal me in this area now?

Timing becomes the question… I want His healing now.  I am weary of having spent 20 years of gross frustrating embarrassing and exhausting at times handling this issue.

And that is the crux of the problem.

I have been gripping this issue too tightly.

I have not fully let go of it and gripped on to His hem.

I am tired of trying to hold it all together, Lord.

I am letting go of my timing, my desires for You to heal  me on my terms.

I am grabbing the hem of Your robe, pressing in and refusing to let go.

Because I KNOW You want me healed.

I speak this out right now, I believe You’re my Healer.

You can, You want to, and You will heal me.

And until Your timing is released for this issue of blood to be removed from me, You will be more than enough to keep me in the midst of my struggle.

You have been for me since before I was born, and always will be.

I surrender my doubts that You don’t care about me enough to heal me, You may not ever heal me while I am here on earth, and I am not worthy to be healed.

Because of what You did on the cross, Jesus, You have made me worthy through the covering of Your blood. I can approach with confidence because the veil has been torn, and You invite me to come.  The One who rose from the grave? He is more than able.

And like the daughter in this story, I do not go unnoticed. You are keeping Your eye on me.

I pray that how the story ended for the woman in Luke 8 ends the same for me, but I am determined not be hiding when You do heal me, God, but shouting it from the rooftops. May You build in me the Rock solid faith I need for my healing to come to pass because of Your touch:

 “Who touched me?” Jesus asked.  When they all denied it, Peter said, “Master, the people are crowding and pressing against you.”  But Jesus said, “Someone touched me; I know that power has gone out from me.” Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet. In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched him and how she had been instantly healed. Then he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace.”

Reader,  did you know its okay to have doubts?

Its not okay to keep your doubts hidden.

We need to bring them out into the light of His presence, so He can help us seem them in alignment with His truth, and who He is.

Doubts hidden become strongholds of the enemy, giving him space in our minds where he was never meant to roam, and begin to trap our spirits in chains from the pit.  

God made us to long for more.

Come as you are to God. He loves us as we are….whether wounded, broken, hurting, doubting, fearful, angry, insecure, lonely.  He never makes us feel bad for our feelings, but as He pours His love into us, we can be healed and made whole beyond imagining.

He is and always will be more than enough for all we need, and works tirelessly to bring His design for us into reality!

So I will never let go of Your hem God. Because close to You is where i was meant to be.

 

 

 
image

only part of the story

Karla Lees

Oh as you run,
what hindered love
will only
become part of the story.

–Steffany Gretzinger, Come out of Hiding

A few weeks ago, I took part in a night of prophetic teaching, and one of the words spoken was the lyrics to this song.

It snuck past my defences, and opened my heart to receive the words God wanted me to hear. My tears, oh how they flowed!

I have lived my life with too much fear & regret, feeling like there are too many chapters I wish I could rip out of my story.

But looking at my life from my perspective is not what I am meant to do.

I am meant to lean into God, and press in for the promises and purpose He has for me.

Not to take a long look back at what was, but to keep my eyes fixed on Him & what He has ahead for me.  I am not a waste, or the sum of my mistakes.

Part of sharing my story is how God is shattering my vision, removing my faulty lie lined glasses, and let me see His vision instead.

God doesn’t use an eraser, or liquid paper, or start our story over.

He takes away the hurt, the pain, and restored the broken places of the past chapters, and helps us write each day moving forward with his help & strength.

He doesn’t remember the past.

At all.

Its a new day, every day with Him.

And because of that amazing mind-blowing aspect of His character…..

My story isn’t finished yet, and neither is yours!

image
We can have hope, because what the enemy intended to use against us becomes only part of our story in God’s hands & plans.

With His grace, we can live our story unhindered!

Its time to step into the light of His grace,

gaze on His face,

and move into the place

He has waiting for us!

#pressingin

#thestorycontinues

#comeoutofhiding

#hopeinHisPresence

echoes of grace & gratitude

Karla Lees

Grace invokes gratitude
like the voice an echo.
Gratitude follows grace
like thunder lightning.

– Karl Barth

The older I get, the more I see a world that needs grace.
And I need that grace too.

@Bryan miles tweet

Splashes of grace
Fall like rain
On my parched soil

From the first glimpses of sun
To the last flickers of light
Before my eyes

Gratitude wells within
Bubbling up & up
Until it overflows

All my worship
Praise & adoration
Belong to You

Ever in need of grace
My heart & mine know full well
How thankfulness
For the gift of grace
Allows me, in turn,
To offer grace
To those about me
Waiting for Hope
Who need to hear
The Grace

Giver
Is waiting to give you, me, us
The grace we are all desperate for

For deep inside
We all know
We need grace

And when we spot it,
Receive it,
The freely given yet oh so costly
Gift of Grace

Gratitude should be our first genuine
Response
Grace
Freely offered should be our second
As we echo the love
Our Grace Giver gave to us

Sunday Psalm: Sing a New Psalm

Karla Lees

For the past 112 of 114 days I have been have a quiet time reading a psalm a day. I have discovered three main things along the journey:

1. God is found in all situations, from each breath we take every day to the running of nations. He reigns over all. He is righteous, living, majestic, creative and fascinatingly amazing to see through the psalmist’s words.

2. We can pour out anything we are feeling before God. Our hopes, dreams, hurts, anger, joys, failures, and everything in between that a person could want, need or desire.

3. God included people with all our quirks and frailties not only as part of His story, but used us to tell the story of how He interacts with us.

The Psalms is part of a collection that was recorded over centuries as a series of snap shots of God and His people.Selfies, as you will, that we took with God in each picture. And God initiated in each writer what He wanted them to write.

Fast forward to 2015.

Those of us who follow God, still feel that deep longing to create, to express how amazing He is. How much He loves us. How He has created all things. How He draws close to those of us He calls His own, and longs for those who haven’t yet come home.

And this love wants to be heard.
Through all of our gifts and talents.

As a result, I decided to write my own psalm every Sunday.
Starting today!
image
Sing a New Psalm

Morning crashed through the clouds above; announcing the new dawn.
The birds chirping welcome as they flit between branch to nest in the strong oak trees where they make their home.
The fresh aroma of spices & tea rising beside the bread coming out of the oven.
I head into the quiet place
to meet with You, Lord.
Thankful for the glimpses
of Your touch in nature
visible outside my window.
Grateful for the roof over my head,
the food in my belly,
the laughter of my family.
Thankful for the grace
I sense all around me.
Evidence of Your handiwork
in my heart, mind, spirit & soul.
You wrap loving arms around me
when I feel low,
lift my head to capture my gaze
to remind me who I am to You.
Adored, Your precious purchase.
Beloved, daughter of the King.
Chosen, handiwork extraordinaire.
Daughter, in whom You delight.
Everything I have,
I owe to
Your hands.
All of that would be enough,
but You still offer more!
God with me,
You walk beside me.
You wrap Your arms around me,
drawing me close into Your embrace.
You are my refuge when the storms come.
Your Presence fills me with joy whenever I approach.
Always welcome,
always wanted.
My heart burst to share the good news- we never ever
have to be, or feel, alone.
Its is time to raise my voice
and sing this new psalm of praise
to You tonight.

Reason #5 to Give Thanks: Because You Can

Karla Lees

The last my top 5 reasons to give thanks ends with:

Because You Can (also known as Why Not?)  🙂

If you are alive, you have a reason to give thanks.

If you have anyone on earth or in heaven who loves you, you have a reason to give thanks.

If you can eat, breathe, sleep, sing, walk, talk, create, move, see, hear….

you have a reason to give thanks.

The Word is full of verses about why to give thanks, but here are my fave four as to why we can, besides the fact we are alive (as I outlined above):

1. Because you are made by His hands:

Oh yes, You shaped me first inside, then out; You formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God—You’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, You know every bone in my body. You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, You watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before You; the days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.

Psalm 139:13-16

2. Because He is the Only God!

I will give to the LORD the thanks due to his righteousness, and I will sing praise to the name of the LORD, the Most High.

Psalm 7:17

3. Because He is not only good, but He loves us FOREVER!

Give thanks to the LORD of hosts, for the LORD is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!

Jeremiah 33:11

4. Because of who He IS, Holy, Mighty, Awesome, Just, True, Good….

We give thanks to you, Lord God Almighty, who is and who was…

Revelation 11:17

Every day, we have a reason to thank God.

Every day, we can offer Him thanks, even on those days when almost everything seems to go downhill… 😉
image

Reason #4 to Give Thanks: Because You Care

Karla Lees

Every day, all around you, are people.

People,who like you and I, need to know they are appreciated. That what they do for others (such as us) is helpful, needed, thoughtful, well done.

They need to hear that thanks.

But this isn’t that kind of thanks I am referring to today…

When someone has blessed us with kindness, grace, an extra hand, unexpected help or blessing…we should thank God for them. In doing so, we acknowledge we care about those around us.

More than just that we need to ask Him to bless them for being a blessing we are thankful for.

When we thank God for those who bless us in our lives, He appreciates the thanks!

And when those in our circle of family, friends, coworkers & acquaintances share their good news, show you care for them by joining their celebration & thank God for blessing them!

And somehow in these thanks transactions…
1. They are blessed by Him for being a blessing.
2. We are blessed through being thankful, more aware of God moving around us.
3. God is blessed and honored with our thanks, whether for what He had given us or someone we know.

As the saying goes, “Win win!”

The next time someone does something worth thanking them for, don’t just thank them in this world. Honor them by thanking God for them in the heavenlies, and invite more of His kingdom down to earth.

Giving thanks is one of the keys for more of His presence!

May the Lord reward you for your kindness… Ruth 1:8

…I thank my God through Jesus Christ for you…

Romans 1:8

image

Reason #3 to Give Thanks: Because He Cares

Karla Lees

Today, I was ready for a day to myself. To worship, soak in the tub, do an online course and a bunch of writing.

God interrupted my plans with two kids unexpectedly home under foot, a phone prob, and updates to project work…not the day I had expected to have on my day off this week.

Yet somehow, as I intentionally made time to spend in the Word throughout the day as I could, I could sense God with me in a different way than usual.

By purposefully making space for Him to move in, He showed up with a calming peace I wasn’t expecting.

I am learning that His Presence with me all the time is awesome, but its more than just knowing I am not alone.

God thinks I am awesome, and continues to pour out the wild & passionate love of a fiance to me.

When my hubby and I were first dating, we spent our first summer apart. I was at sleepover camp up north, he was on a summer mission trip through the Maritimes. He wrote me every single day. (I wrote one long letter every week, coz I could only post once a week). Whether a post card, a mushy card, a cheesy card or a letter, he poured out his heart for me…and helped me fall even deeper in love despite the distance.

God is love. He didn’t need us. But he wanted us. And that is the most amazing thing. 

 ~ Rick Warren

God has done the same for us.
Not only did He die for us, He wrote the best love letter in history for us to catch His heart for each one of us.

God loves each of us as if there were only one of us.  ~ Augustine

And that love, that amazingly astonishly awesome passionate breathtaking deep pure abandon He sends our way, is worth thanking Him for every moment of every day, and on into eternity!

 

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the LOVE of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38-39

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great LOVE with which he LOVED us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ; by grace you have been saved…

Ephesians 2:4-5

The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his LOVE; he will exult over you with loud singing.

Zephaniah 3:17

But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast LOVE and faithfulness.

Psalm 86:15

Know therefore that the LORD your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast LOVE with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations…

Deuteronomy 7:9

Psalm 136 repeats the chorus after every line of thanks or praise for who God is: “His love endures forever!”

I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.

Jeremiah 29:11

Knowing the God of the universe loves ME? Back then, right now and for all eternity? Cares about me? Wants to bless me with good things? Is always with me?

Anytime now becomes the right time to give thanks!

image

Reason #2 to Give Thanks: When it Clicks

Karla Lees

When something somehow goes right despite your fears or concerns, somehow clicking into place unexpectedly- I give God thanks.

Coz when I invite Him in to the situation or day, He was there, and is the main reason for success when things click!  

Knowing He is always with me reminds me the praise i owe the Giver of my gifts, especially when I come to the end of my strength and ask Him to take over.

For all the times when things work out, despite all that might try to distract or remind me how impossible success will be, I give thanks! Each and every time!

Early this morning, I headed as usual on the first of two buses to an admin job I work part time. The bus schedules just changed this week with the return to school, and my usual bus was in fact an express which bypasses the connection depot I needed to catch my next bus at.
I got off on the first stop passed, crossed the road and prayed asking God to let the right bus cone as soon as possible to get me to the depot. 30 seconds later, the bus arrived, and within 10 minutes I was at the depot.

My next bus (now bus 3 instead of 2) was still waiting at the depot, and I walked right on.

To my delight & surprise, a former coworker was the scheduled bus driver!

If I had caught the first correct bus, I would have missed being on her route at that time!

God made everything click so we could reconnect, even having me take the wrong bus!

Once again, I offer Him thanks for lining up all the pieces to fit together according to His design for me today!

I will give thanks to the LORD with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds. Psalm 9:1

To you, O God of my fathers, I give thanks and praise, for You have given me wisdom and might, and have now made known to me what we asked of You. Daniel 2:23

image

Reason #1 to Give Thanks: When its a Challenge

Karla Lees

There are several books and resources to help anyone out there wanting to become more grateful, including fellow Canadian excellent Ann Voskamp’s excellent 1000 Gifts.

If you are like me, you may have days where reading a book might be too intimidating given what’s going on in your life.

I have narrowed down my 5 main reasons to give thanks in any circumstance, by looking at the Word, and how I have been able to apply it to my life. I will be sharing one reason each day this week.

(To be honest, my day has been so long and full of the unexpected, I needed the reminder this week. Maybe you can relate!)

When Its a Challenge:

When things don’t go my way, I have learned to thank God in the midst of it.

Because if we were honest, if we always got everything we wanted right when we wanted it, life would become stale without a challenge to overcome.

Without a challenge, we can take for granted all we do have, and lose perspective.

Sometimes, all i can thank Him for is being with me in the situation, and that is always a good reason to give Him thanks.  Knowing he loves me and has good plans for me helps me know the challenge is not forever, His presence is!

 Thank God no matter what happens.  1 Thessalonians 5:18

I will offer to you the sacrifice of thanksgiving and call on the name of the LORD. Psalm 116:17

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  Philippians 4:6

Even when the way goes through Death Valley, I’m not afraid when You walk at my side. Your trusty shepherd’s crook makes me feel secure. Psalm 23:4

image

caught in the headlights

Karla Lees

The other day, someone was speaking highly about a skill I have while I was in the room, and I felt uncomfortable.

I felt awkwardly caught in the headlights!

The issue wasn’t that I had overheard, because the person knew I was there.

The real issue?

I am not used to praise and compliments, especially in public.

I had a normal upbringing, but as I entertained myself pretty well (as readers and kids on bikes tend to do) I didn’t tend to be on my parents’ radar much unless i did something wrong.  Which, like any normal kid does, I did.

Both my parents were raised with the same style of parenting. Other than I love you’s, there wasn’t much verbal encouragement unless it was related to grades, again very normal for that generation, and NOT a negative reflection on my parents. Just an observation.

The result in my mind?  When I did get called on my behaviour, it felt like being in the principal’s office waiting for the chastisement to begin. Which is now sort of funny, because as a singer and musician, I am used to being seen…. but I am not a head right for the spotlight kinda gal

As a result, I have had a hard time with criticism, as I didn’t often get its counterpart of encouragement. If you offer it publicly, I used to be even worse accepting it. Occasionally even full blown panic attacks. If it was written down, not so bad, as I could digest it in private.

I did have a few teachers who tried to build me up, but to a kid who doesn’t get a lot of attention unless its negative (again, my perception) I didn’t really know what to do with it.

Into the locker of my brain it went.

As a young adult, I grew a hard skin to compensate, until I ran head first right into His embrace.

God’s words bypassed my hardened shell and shot into my heart, so I was able to receive the words of love and hope He had for me, and could accept the promise of restoration.

Fast forward to my marriage.
To a man who got no attention unless it was negative.

See the pattern here?

I got some counseling & mentoring over the years, but nothing seemed to come close to this issue.

Three years ago, I started working for my first really encouraging boss. On a regular basis, this person tries to speak encouragement to keep using your gifts, his appreciation for the hard work we do, and general blessing. A year later, I began working for another boss, who has a similar thankful & encouraging style.
More encouragement started being spoken to me on a regular basis, but usually on a small scale.
Last year, I added a few more freelance bosses as i began to run my own small business, and each of them has also been a blessing, and express gratitude.

I am very grateful to God for the blessing it is to have such great people to work for and with. It has taken almost 3 years for me to accept verbal kind words my direction.

Then the worst thing (in my imagination) happened to me just over a month ago.

I was sitting in a prophetic service (which I am fine with, btw!) where the pastor began publicly sharing the words He was sharing through him.

All of a sudden my heart started racing, and I clearly heard “He is going to speak to you next.”

I am so thankful God gave me the heads up, because if He hadn’t I would have missed what was said in my shock at being singled out.
Coz the word was so encouraging.

And God knew I needed to hear it out loud, in front of witnesses.

Because not only did it answer a question I had, but it released something in the heavenlies.
I don’t need to be afraid any longer of every word I am about to hear being a negative one.

God has been using others and His word to remind me I do have good characteristics & skills, which has helped me become more balanced in my own thinking about myself.

I still need correction, as we all do. Now, I can take it as a part of the picture, instead of perceiving every thing to be a mountain out of a molehill. And I am getting used to it coming out in ways I cannot always expect.

I have learned I don’t want to limit how God wants to encourage or bless me, and as I trust Him more, He reassures my heart as to who i am to Him.

And the fear begins to ebb, and I can take in what He wants me to hear and learn.

So no more awkward deer or moose caught in the headlights for me, at least after the initial few seconds any ways!
image