Tag: depression

the struggle

Karla Lees

Too many voices are being snuffed out.

Who have you lost to depression or mental illness?

Have your relationships been impacted so much you can nearly breathe from the pain?

Sometimes those who are the most talented can’t pull back from the edges of their greatness in time to miss seeing the void on the other side.

Just like roller coasters, we can ride high in a rush, the thrill of adrenaline surging, and suddenly drop so low it feels the bottom has dropped out beneath you.

And without hope catching you when you feel that fall, you can lose sight of why you should keep going, and stop talking about what is going on inside.

Without purpose, we falter.

Without love, we wither.

but most importantly,
without the hope of hope,
we begin to die.

If someone you know struggles with their moods, whether depression, anxiety or heartbreaking grief…

Keep a close eye on them.

Don’t just glance their way.

You can be that glimmer of hope they may be needing right before they reach their lowest point.

Help them to find their voice again,
before its too late.

God is always reaching out for us…
How can we not reach out for those we love?

May you always keep your eyes on Hope, and allow Him to help you rise above the lows into His embrace.

RIP to all we know, personally or publically.

My hope is you made it Home.

image

connection

Karla Lees

Connection helps combat depression.

image

We were hardwired to interact, both with one another & God. Lone wolf, black sheep or not.

Knowing you have a soft place to fall, arms of support, a listening ear, backing when its needed and words of love- this is the kind of connection our soul cries out for from birth.

Its ultimately the cry for our Creator, which we are better able to grasp when we connect with one another.

Everyone wants to know they are:

Valued
Appreciated
Loved
Validated
Enjoyed
Supported

VALVES for short.

Our heart beats with joy when its valves are working properly.

Our life is less blue, less lonely with the oxygen of connection.

Our soul can find rest, peace with healthy interaction.

Its time to connect.
Not just be acquainted with.

Acquaintance implies a distance, a holding back from one another. At times a hesitancy to place value on a new relationship.

Each person you meet might be one who deep down is seeking connection. To know they matter, to somebody.

You may be placed in their lives to model the ultimate connection…a lasting permanent relationship with God.

You cannot tell from the outside all that may be stirring on the inside of those you meet….but God can.

You are part of His plan for reaching those in desperate need of connection.  To point the way for them to find who it is they are truly looking for.

You may end up blessed in the process!

(Hey, for those of you who want to read a bit more about how connection helps fight depression, click the link below to be taken to a great blogging site by:
Dale Partridge)

refuge

Karla Lees

image

There are days I just want to hide myself away.

Days where I say something dumb, forget to do something important, or simply look like I should have stayed home in bed. On the worst days, all three at the same time.

As much as I want to stay in hiding, tucked comfortably under my squooshy duvet, listening to my Hope cat purr as she snores beside me, I know deep down that this is only (albeit a lovely option) a temporary solution for me.

I have a rock solid, impenetrable refuge to hide in.

One where I am tucked tightly underneath the shelter of His wings.

Protected.
Safe.
Loved.
Valued.
Treasured.
Beloved.

When things head downhill in my life, I head for His presence.

He is my Hope.
My Protector.
Provider.
Healer.

He never fails me.
Always adores me.
Constantly with me.
He never lets me go.

He whispers promises.
Sings me love songs.
Accepts me as me.
Delights over me.

As attractive as my bed may look at 5:45 in the morning, knowing my soul can escape to my forever home with Him in the blink of an eye keeps me hopeful, no matter what I am facing.

And I have faced enough doozies in my life to not need any more:

Abandonment
Molestation
Bullying
Cutting
Depression
Physical Illness
Loss of loved ones
Loss of income
Rejection
Anxiety
Fear
Broken relationships

And God has proven Himself to be more than enough for and through every single one of them.

Every time.

My true refuge.

looking truth in the face

Karla Lees

I faced a lifetime of looking the truth in the face before it had time to burrow under my skin.

#TheMercifulScar

It takes a lot to look the truth square on, and come to grips with it.

It is much easier for most of us to hide it away, and keep following the same old patterns we have become used to.

But that is a lie.

Not dealing with the truth costs us more in the long run.

By not facing it in the moment, we bury it within us. Making an opening for ourselves to escape into, a non reality for lack of a better word. An alternate truth to us, which we think we control, but in fact ends up controlling us.

Addictions, some forms of depression, suicide can all find their roots in the emotions we bury avoiding the truth.

What we bury, when it isn’t meant to be kept in, sends out tentacles to destroy us from the inside out.

Truth was meant to set us free.

Taking out what has been buried can be painful, but on the other side is a freedom we all long for.

I learned this the long way around. Digging up the past has opened up a future I never dreamed I would have.

I am the healthier, and the better for it.

Today could be your day to heal, make your wounds your scars, move forward, and live.

For truth is found in a person.
Jesus.

Who is more than able to help you find your freedom if you turn to Him and ask.

Its time to grow and be the you you were meant to be.

enough

Karla Lees

There comes a time when each of us have had enough.

It might be your stress level. Your health. Your inability to sleep. A negative influence. Someone not taking your no as the final answer. A boundary was crossed. Hurtful words hurled your way.

When you’ve had enough, we hit the end of ourselves.

Leaving us with two choices:
Usually an emotional reaction, such as anger, frustration, exhaustion, hurt feelings, depression or regret. These can also show physically, with tense muscles, headaches, upset stomachs, lack of appetite, overeating, insomnia, or illness.

Coming to the end of ourselves usually occurs because you and i fail to see the bigger picture going on beyond ourselves.

The second option when you reach the end of yourself is to take that emotional reaction and plug into God for your need:

Exhausted?
Come rest. Psalm 23

Angry?
Lay it down. Ephesians 4:26

Stressed?
Stop worrying. Matthew 6:25-34

Sick?
Ask for healing. Matthew 4:23

Regret?
Seek forgiveness. 1 John 1:9

Hurt?
Forgive. Matthew 18:21-22

Lonely?
He is with you. Psalm 68:6

In need of comfort? Broken hearted?
He is close. Psalm 34:18
He heals your heart. Psalm 147:3
He loves you. Jeremiah 31:3

In bondage?
He sets the prisoners free.
Isaiah 61:1-3

Need hope?
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Romans 12:15

When we hit the end of us, when we turn to God, we find that His more than enough is more than able to help us move forward.

May you draw close to this God who is so beyond what we can sense in the natural world, tap into His supernatural love and equipping, and find yourself as you do.

Don’t let one circumstance or situation blind you from God waiting to be there for you. Let Him help you stand, and face it together.

image

fighting the bluez

Karla Lees

Today was a mental fight day.
I couldn’t take too long off, or I knew I would lose the battle.

I find that when I am in recovery, that period between fully sick and fully well, I am not at strong mentally with my defenses. Certainly, extra napping and strong medications may be part of the factors impacting my state of mind. But there seems to be something else.

Without sun, without warmth, without a kind touch, I begin to feel blue and wither a little within, shriveling up on myself to try and hide away.

Today the bluez struck big time.

image

(image from: http://www.suffolknewsherald.com/2012/01/14/fighting-the-winter-blues/)

I was okay on the bus while cranking my tunes (for me worship tunes are battle music). I ate breakfast, drank my yummy chai rooibos tea while mostly hot. I whipped off the bulk of my to do list before noon.

I took my next medication, and things took a turn for the dumpster.

I felt awful. Too hot, ready to find a dark corner and sleep it off. But…I was at work.

Realizing I could go home early made me feel even worse. And that doing so would be conceding defeat.

I ate my lunch, purged some files, did some techy posty stuff, chatted with some coworkers about a coming project, all the while silently praying that the bluez would subside.

They did.

Until I got home.

When i caught sight of my trashed main floor, 40 minutes before company was due to arrive, I almost gave in.

I pushed up my sleeves, tapped in a strong assistant, and 35 minutes later it was done.

I decided to take a quick recharge my batteries break with two of my fave recent Darlene Zschech songs with my last five minutes before my friends arrived, while the kettle was on.

By the time the first arrived, I was feeling almost like myself again. A little more tired version, but chipper and glad to see my friends. The chatter and resulting laughter helped banish my bluezy feelings.

What do you do when the bluez try to overtake you?

Do you give in?
Do you fight back?
Do you pull out your secret weapon? In my case, praise and prayer?

I am a hardwired communicator, so I find music, books, and movies invigorating and great assets in helping me cope with hope when the world seems dreary and blah.

One of my friends is a garden whiz. She loves to plan, plant, and dream about her gardening.

Another finds fitness helps her stay centered and well.

My husband finds a walk outdoors with a friend, chatting along the way helps him to fight his battles against the bluez.

http://www.austinpug.org/the-minimalists-guide-to-fighting-the-blues/ is a good basic list of healthy ways to face the bluez.

No matter what you choose, know that the bluez do not last forever.
The despair and doubt of the day after Good Friday does not last beyond Easter Sunday.
Good news IS coming.
Spring WILL arrive.
Winter WILL be over.
The sun will shine again.

The rain, although not much to look at, serves a purpose. To soak the ground, to help it produce a good harvest.

May the bluez we all fight soak us enough to appreciate the sunny times ahead, but never enough to turn into despair.

balance

Karla Lees

Today, Beth Moore talked via DVD about the temple in the last of our current bible study series.

Knocked me almost out of my chair.

Actually onto my knees.

I, like many of you, have struggled with my weight going up and down. Mine is a combo of hormones, lack of self control and some strongholds/idolatry.

Beth reminded us (me) that we are the temple for Holy Spirit, and we should be doing all we can to make Holy Spirit feel at home in our skin.

We need the stuff that isn’t our individuality or personality, both God given traits, to leave so we have more room for Holy Spirit to move in. Basically, our fleshly wants and desires, along with anything that may have attached itself to them.

Beth gave an example about a gal whose weight has fluctuated between a size 6 to a 14. At a size 6, she found she was consumed with thinking about what she ate all day long, obsessed with staying at that weight. At size 14, she threw caution to the wind and gave in to her appetite with anything she wanted, also referred to as gluttony.

Both extremes led her into different kinds of bondage.

Her happy weight for her body, where she is balanced with exercise, taking care of herself and predominantly health eating is a size 10, for her build, height and bone structure.
Asking God to set her free from society’s expectation of beauty & wellness and pressing in to have Him help her maintain a healthy temple aka. body, she is now free to be herself at her natural best.

Which caught my attention, and I had a conversation about it with God, with me mainly listening.

I am on the taller side of the spectrum with a medium build. I have never been, as a teen, below a size 10.   Have been a size 20 after giving birth at my heaviest. My natural weight seems to hover around a current size 12, which is likely the size 10 of my high school days.

My weight has gone out of control for one main reason. I overeat. Along with that comes the lack of energy, digestive issues, and when added to some food reactions and not dealing well with how I am feeling, is it any wonder. When I feel at my lowest, I don’t want to get moving or look at a vegetable.

But no longer.

I re-dedicated myself to God today. Asked Him to tear down the strongholds of gluttony and idolatry, and to set me free to seek my best for His glory. My body as His temple. I want Holy Spirit to be at home in me.

I can’t do it without Him. Been there, done that, not going back to Egypt again.

So the balance I am talking about comes from keeping my mind fixed on Him, my heart pure and worshipping God alone, my body under control, my strength found in deep rooted faith and trust.

One day at a time.

I will be choosing life and freedom. Walking with God.

Does that mean I will never enjoy another bag of potato chips or a coconut chocolate bar again?  No. But I will not be eating the big bag of chips, or the full bar. More like one small bowl or a snack size portion.

I also am cleaning out the other unwanted tenants: Depression, loneliness, abandonment, homeliness.
See you later in Jesus’ Name.
I kick you out, coz I am no longer partnering with you.
It’s time to move out, coz I have a roommate who needs more space for His art studio and garden. This temple is under major renovation as He retrofits His design.

Welcome into your bigger space, Holy Spirit.
I hope You make Yourself at home, and let me know if there are other tenants who need to be evicted.
I look forward to our talks to come over tea, and your words of wisdom as You guide me towards Your best for me. I anticipate unveiling a redesigned temple some day soon.