Tag: mess

I am a put it back in its spot kinda gal.
Not too OCD about it, but I like to be able to easily find my stuff. My son is a lot like me in this way.

Not so my hubby or daughter. They have the ‘where it lands, there it will stay’ approach when they gets stressed or are working too hard, which is most of the time it seems.

This causes pile ups where open space should be.

I have five must have open/keep it tidy areas in my small cozy home:
My coffee table
My front hall
My kitchen counters & table
My main bathroom counter
The bottom of the stairs

I don’t care about toilet paper or toothpaste unless you leave me without any. Another story for another day!

Nor the computer desk (about a 1-2 min straighten job) which we all share in our living room.

But when movies get randomly placed about the house, stuff is piled right by the front door so its the first thing you see when you come in my home, and there is more stuff in the way so I can’t get into my basement, well I get ticked.

Annoyed.

I make sure that I have certain foods in the house for my family members, I make sure I pay the bills, arrange transportation when needed, do the bulk of the laundry, the grocery shopping and meal planning. The taxes. Vacation planning.

Not whining, coz I love my family, and want to serve. Just saying.

All of the above, like many other moms, on top of working outside the home.

And I am tired of feeling it is ALL on my plate, ALL of the time.

So today, after a cool down period offsite, I came home and spoke up.

My son is taking on a few more weekly chores, which he can choose to do whenever, as long as they get done.

My daughter has a major project she needs to get done on time or a new needed item she wants will not be purchased next weekend.

My hubby has agreed to do a few of the smaller weekly jobs I cannot do easily due to allergies/physical challenges.

The laundry and cooking schedule is going up later tonight. You are on unless you arrange a trade!

After a frustrating inconvenient hour trying to locate MY hairbrush, the final straw for me today, I realized that part of the problem was me.

You see, NOT speaking up and trying to do it all yourself is not only crazy for its superhero mentality, it is overwhelmingly not realistic.

It is okay to say you can’t, or you need help.

Its okay to say no, you are not meeting my needs (not wants in this case).

In fact, its healthier than keeping it in and brooding over situations like this, which can lead to a sudden storm of anger over a smaller irritation yet to come….potentially damaging relationships in the burst of emotions.

So I have accepted that it is okay that I like things mostly in their place. That I want to be tidy, not an obsessive neat freak- but comfortable to have any friend (mine, hubby’s or the kids’) stop by and visit last minute without being embarrassed by the state of my home.

I want to feel welcome in my home.
Free to be me, but also teach and demonstrate to the rest of my family the art of consideration for those we live with- whether family, friends, roommates or pets.

The crisis is over.
I found my hairbrush.
The stairs have been cleared of the items that tried to trip me last night.
I also discovered a few new boundaries going into place in the process.

Family is a team, not full of solo participants. All working together for the good of the whole.

Its about we, not just me’s.