Tag: brokenness

imprints

Karla Lees

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Yesterday was officially Infant & Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day.

Those of us who have lost a child know three key things from our loss:

1. We think about it way more than once a year.

2. We need to talk about it more than once a year.

3. Things have been forever changed.

Once a year only serves as a jump off point for those who need to heal from this kind of loss.

Let me tell you, almost nothing in my life has been more traumatic than the loss of my first pregnancy.

Discovering that I carried him, and the heartbreak of losing him all within a six week period impacted me hard, like falling into a cement block would.

Yet this wee one, whose feet never touched the ground, had a positive impact upon me too.

For God reminded me:
– He had made him (I believe his name is Andrew) and gifted us with him. 
-all life is precious to Him, regardless of how long we get to spend here on earth
-He was with me in Andrew’s conception, his growth and his departing. He never left my side through it all.

I think often what life would have been like had Andrew made it to birth, and at every stage I have celebrated in wonder as my two miracles have grown before my very eyes.

You see, I was so traumatized by losing my first child that I was literally a fear time bomb when I realized I was pregnant again, with my daughter.

Yet God was so gracious in how He poured love, freedom and hope within me as He reassured me He was with me, every time I ran to Him & nestled into His embrace.

I discovered joy in both my following pregnancies, despite my fear.

My delivery of my daughter was a whole other drama (think about having a dozen witnesses!) but I made it through, and delighted in her arrival.  My son’s delivery was scarier, yet God gave me a peace beyond comprehension that he was going to make it, and he did.

Because I had been set free from the heartbreak of loss, I was able to whole hearted accept the gift He handed me. New life.

All my children have been incredible gifts.

One i will meet face to face beside Jesus.

The other two I am honored to say I will have the pleasure of introducing to their sibling who went on ahead one heavenly moment yet to come.

Sometimes when you have lost, in my case, the depth God went to to heal me from my miscarriage, you are blessed to have a heightened wonder at what you have been given afterwards.

If you too have lost a child, in utero or after birth, my heart goes out to you.

My heart has been made whole again despite my losses, grief and trials because its Maker has touched me and brought me back to life.

My prayer is that you will allow Him to do the same.

And may He rise up around you those who you can share your burden and grief with, who will direct you back to the Healer of all wounds, hurts & brokenness, as they love you alongside you in your loss.

Yet Andrew’s tiny feet have left an imprint on my heart which will never leave, nor do I want them to. I am a better mom, more compassionate friend, and can find joy in the mundane of the day to day because I know that I know He is with me, each step, every moment.

Losing Andrew and meeting God in the whirlwind of the emotion which followed taught me that.

Hope in the broken

Karla Lees

Our brokenness opens us to a deeper way of sharing our lives and offering each other hope.   -Henri Nouwen

Yesterday, I had an overloading revelation while listening to a guest speaker at my church.

He reminded me of a verse that God has been whispering into my spirit a great deal lately:

They defeated the enemy through the blood of the Lamb & the bold word of their witness. – Rev 12:11 MSG

My testimony is filled with brokenness.

But covered in His blood as I stand under the shadow of His wings, He can use my testimony to bring hope to the broken around me.

For my broken bits have as much value as my gifts & talents in His hands.

Nothing is wasted in His Kingdom.

My history becomes HiStory when I open my mouth to speak or sing it or lift my hands to type it.

For my brokenness has been where God has moved in me the most, for it is where I depend all the more on His strength.

My brokenness reveals Him through my scars.

Like tattoos, each scar tells a story of where God met me in that broken moment, showing how He restored, healed, comforted, guided me beyond it.

My imperfections highlight His perfection.

No matter the struggle, the skirmish or hardship, God has proven Himself over & over to be with me in every single moment of brokenness I have encountered on this earth. He can be the Hope you need in your brokenness too.

May He shine through your gifts & talents, but even all the more through the cracked glimpses into Your former brokenness.

May your testimony smear hope on the hearts of all who hear, see or read it, and draw them closer to the Hope-giver.

All our hope can be and is found in Him.
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broken to life

Karla Lees

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. 1 Peter 2:24 ESV

Jesus died for the broken.

Those who were broken in ways beyond just what can seen:

  • broken in spirit
  • broken-hearted
  • broken in the mind,
  • broken in body.

But also for those who are:

  • broken because of their sin.

I find the weight of my own sin can sometimes break me in ways i never expected.

Selfishness can lead to isolation and loneliness, and down the path to choosing more things which keep that spiral of me swirling down and out of control.

And i need to be reminded: Jesus came for the broken.

There is one more type of broken that Jesus covered with His brokenness:

  • those who need taming

The strong willed ones (like moi) who need to be broken in order to submit.

We all are broken, or need to be broken depending on the circumstances.

  • I tend to find other people’s sins towards me break me
  • I need to be broken based on my own sins & bad choices

That is why Jesus died so painfully on the cross.

He chose to be broken so He can bring hope to the broken, no matter what has broken us.

He chose to rise again to show He can bring life to the dead, the places within us we think are beyond hope, beyond healing.

He chose to die so we could live.

Because it is He who brings us back to life.

Our part?

To come with our brokenness and sin, and ask for His help.

His part?

The part He loves?

  • To answer our cry.
  • To touch us with His hands.
  • To infuse us with his love.
  • To rebirth life into our dry bones.
  • To make us new in ways we could not imagine on the other side of our brokenness.
  • To give wings to our hope.

Ready for new life? 

It doesn’t matter if  or how you are broken, the Master Carpenter is more than able to take our broken pieces and make us anew!

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

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dirty to clean

Karla Lees

We don’t contaminate Christ with our brokenness, He makes us clean through His glorious presence!  Sheila Walsh

I confessed yesterday that I love the story of Cinderella, which i find to be a great allegory of the Kingdom.

I believe love is the central theme, around which brokenness, humility, ashes & grief swirled in an attempt of the enemy’s to snuff out the light shining in Ella.

Her position of beloved daughter was crushed by her cruel stepmother & harsh stepsisters.

Not content with making her their servant, they ridiculed her and made life even harder for her…naming her Cinderella, to remind her of her new position in the household, no longer daughter, but servant.

But the lessons Ella learned as a child at the feet of her loving father (and in the new Disney movie, her loving mother) lingered and refused to be completely snuffed out. Her kind nature and gentle manner were daily choices she made in response to the harsh circumstances she found herself in.

And when she couldn’t take anymore, grace stepped in and gifted her with revealing who she really was, despite her horrible living conditions.

A princess on the inside.

Worthy of the best, to wear the dress, to not only meet royalty but destined to become royal.

Fear rose up and caused her to flee, but her Beloved moved heaven and earth to find her, for she was His counterpart, and He would have no other.

He not only restored her dignity, but elevated her with His love. Her background did not matter except to highlight her true character.

She was meant to be His.

And so are you.

You too may feel like Cinderella, like you are too dirty from what is going on to approach your Prince. You nay be beaten down by harsh words, stuck in a job you’d rather not be working at, be on your own struggling, have difficult family to deal with, or feel dirty from the weight of bad choices or sin.

God doesn’t care where you have been. He is more than enough to set you free, clean you up, heal you inside and out, and make you His. His goodness is not muddied by our sin, just the opposite. His goodness chases the sin and grime away, until the real us is all He can see.

I have said it before, but i need to hear the reminder again myself:

I am a Princess in His eyes.

As Jesus is the Prince of Peace, the Son of the Most High God, the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, then the Bride He is pursuing? He reminds her that her shoe, the design He has for her, will fit in His hands and with His love accompanying her, always.

When we become His, we all are changed in His site to the beautiful ball gowned princess. He clothes us in white, and sets us beside Him at His banquet feast, at the marriage celebration He is throwing to celebrate we are His!

Once we agree to be His, our past only serves to contrast where we are headed to with Him. It is to remind us how far we have come, and how much we need to stay in relationship with our Prince.

Our Prince is not slumming when He chooses His bride.

He made us so exquisitely, just so, each one of us. Together we make up His heart on the outside.
The Bride He has always longed for, hidden across time until he awakens us through His love.

The Prince not only rescued Cinderella from her old life, he completely set her free from it, into a new identity, her true identity.

He broke the chains that bound her, and released her into the freedom He had in store for her once he found her.

Jesus offers the same loving hand to us.

Like the Prince in Cinderella, He does not plan on stopping His pursuit of His bride, ever. Until she is complete, and 100% whole.

It is His love that brought her to life again. His love which freed her. His love wanting to cherish her. His love He desired to spend the rest of His life sharing with her.

It’s His life that will bring you to life again. His love which will free you. His love wanting to cherish you. His love He desires to spend the rest of His life sharing with you.

This love passionately & permanently moved heaven & earth to find you. His love will always triumph!

If He says the shoe fits, it does 🙂

And since He lives for eternity, what a happy ever after we have in store for us!

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beautiful mess

Karla Lees

All around
Hope is springing up
from this old ground
Out of chaos
life is being found in You..

You make beautiful things
out of the dust
You make beautiful things
out of us

Beautiful Things, Tim Neufeld

God sees something beautiful in messy, broken me.

The same is true of you.

God looks at us, and sees what we may not be able to see in ourselves:
*promise
*hope
*His handiwork
*worth
*precious treasure
*His hands & feet
*our covering in Christ

He doesn’t see:
*our sin
*our failures
*when we strayed
*our mistakes
once we have given them over to Him.

He sees our messy chaotic lives, and sees beauty in our midst…because of Jesus.

Inviting Jesus in starts an internal reno that Holy Spirit will not complete until we meet God face to face in glory.

It means God sees the hope living within us, rather than our failure.

It means we have that living hope no matter what.

Broken in spirit, body, mind, heart?

Bound by sin?

Believing in enemy lies?

God doesn’t leave us there.
He restores our hope,
returns our dreams,
remolds our breaks,
redirects us to the right path.
He offers an embrace of grace when we think we deserve a slap in the face.

Take a walk through your bible.
Take a close look at the God you see enclosed in the truth contained within.
God doesn’t leave those who seek His Presence where He found them:
Abram > Abraham
Sarai> Sarah
Jacob> thief to head of Israel
Saul> Paul, killer of Christians to evangelist for Christ
David> shepherd to king, murderer & adulterer>man after God’s own heart
Solomon> overindulging philanthropist to wisest man & builder of His temple
Esther> pretty teenager to redeemer of her people
Rahab> prostitute to one of God’s chosen
Ruth> foreigner to beloved grandmother of David
Samson> playboy to judge, betrayer who God restored to mete out justice

This is just the tip of the iceberg of what God can do with a willing heart that beats for Him.

What we may see may be overwhelming pain, brokenness, mess beyond our ability to fix or clean…

Nothing is beyond His ability to repair.

God has never stopped being in the creation business.

When we look to Him, and choose to follow, He begins to restore us back to how He originally intended us to be: fully His.

His view of what is really going on is from His loving, eternal, all-knowing perspective.

We need to trust He knows what He is doing.

If we are listening, He will speak love, restoration and hope into our lives along the way.

Our situations do not limit His ability, they reflect humanity’s inability.

God chose to make us in His image, and will never stop restoring us until we are called home with Him.

And along the way, He makes beautiful things out of the dust, out of us.

Our hope is built on nothing less than the God of the universe.

Our beauty is not based on what we see, but His vision.

Our brokenness becomes something beautiful when we allow the Potter to remold us & give us His peace.

On the days when brokenness feels overwhelming, try to keep this truth in mind: When God looks at us, He sees something beautiful! Ask Him to give you clear direction and peace when you cannot see the beauty He sees.

Hey, if you want a few good tips on how to spot beauty in the broken on a hard day, especially a Monday, please visit: Beauty in Brokenness at POTSC.
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unfixed

Karla Lees

I’m unfixed. And the truth is, that’s where God meets me – in the mess of my life, in the unfixedness, in the brokenness.

Mike Yaconelli

I am broken.
and I know it.

I need putting back together again
from my long fall off the wall
I hid behind for so long.

Parts of me have shattered
almost completely.

It is a major undertaking to proceed
with my reconstruction,
renovation,
being put back together again.

But God, He is up for the task.

You see,
much of what was broken
needed to be smashed
so He can replace the faulty parts
(the old movie reels, the self sufficiency, pride, the desire to be in control)
with updated top of the line ones, that depend on His strength
to fuel them (faith, hope, joy, love, grace, mercy, kindness, forgiveness, patience)

There was some faulty wiring
needing to be ripped out
so He could reconnect the proper
thought processes
and reattach me to His Spirit
for instant notifications.
They may require quiet and concentration to hear them,
but this part of the rebuild
is critical before the next step.

A new heart.
One that will beat with His heart.
In tune with how He is feeling,
sensing His compassion for those around me,
His love for them, and me.

Open heart surgery that cuts away into our very soul.
Enabling the spirit within, that eternal precious spark in each of His children, to shine through us once again.

This season of brokenness
has been very humbling,
deeply painful,
yet
tremendously hope building
at the same time.

You see,
God isn’t finished with me yet.

His goal is to make me,
shape me,
build me,
put me back together
to be the me He designed me to be.

My goal is to not get in His way,
and give Him free reign.

There is a beauty to be found in allowing God to touch us in these places of brokenness.

Somehow His glory is revealed more clearly when we are broken for His purposes.

The enemy may try to play havoc with your life.

Stop listening to his depressing lies.

God IS in control,
even when you can’t see it.
He will restore,
even when you can’t feel it.
He will never leave you,
even when you can’t sense Him.

If you, like me, are in this period of brokenness beyond anything you can imagine, take comfort in knowing God knows what the end result is He desires to see us become.

He will fix us up,
put us back together again,
and be with us
every step of the way.

We don’t need to fear being broken
when we know God is in control.
His plans will come to pass
in our lives
when we allow Him to be our
strength & guide.

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look up

Karla Lees

When I feel low, its usually because I have taken my eyes off of God.

When God is in His proper place, and I acknowledge how big, strong, mighty my God is, I can’t help but look up to Him.

Focusing on the problem makes it block out my view of God. It doesn’t mean God is not in the picture.

I was at a training course, where the teacher shared a part of someone else’s story.  A young man was crying out to God in a drug trip to reveal Himself. All the man saw was a tiny distraction, which led him down a tormented path for years.

When he finally went for healing and freedom, he asked God to reveal where He had been in the room at that exact moment.

God did.  He completely filled the room.

We can miss the bigger picture and how big our God is (as far as our finite minds can grasp an infinite God) when we narrow our focus.

When we limit our vision to what we think we should see, instead of seeing whatever God wants us to see.

Himself, reigning over all, no matter what we see going on around us.

We serve the one and only God, who is seated on His throne:
the Creator of all we can see on our earth, in our universe, and beyond.
the Savior of all people, who has never and will never stop reaching out his arms to them, us.
the Healer of all brokenness and wounds within us.
the Provider of all good gifts
the Guide who shares all wisdom, knowledge and discernment to all who seek and ask
the King who reigns forever and ever
and so much more!!!

In light of who He is, we need to remember He is greater than all we will come across:

The enemy who is being and will be defeated.
Those who hate and harm us.
Painful situations caused by sin & selfishness.
All disease, mental illness & sickness.
Losses and grief.
Broken hearts.

Today, I am reminded anew to lift my eyes up, and keep them focused on God, not how I may be feeling.

I will look up.
I will proclaim God reigns over everything happening in my life.
I will choose to put my hope in the One who gave so much for me.

Its never too late to look up.

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strong in the broken

Karla Lees

Perhaps strength doesn’t reside in never having been broken, but in the courage to grow strong in the broken places.

@BlessedTeens tweet, July 6th, 2014

If you have been broken, you can become strong again.

Broken does not mean ready for the discard pile, as the world views broken things, people, dreams.

Broken in the Kingdom means God is able to rebuild you better than you were before.

Broken means pliable, use-able, willing.

Pliable in God’s hands.
Useful for His plans.
Willing to be His, despite your brokenness.

I never dreamed God could use me….product of a broken home, too young when my innocence was stolen. Sensitive, artsy, lonely and bottled up inside to keep the hurt & brokenness from coming near the surface.

Because the world sees brokenness as not worth the time repairing.

God sees brokenness for what it is, the main reason He came to earth.

To restore the broken.

Who are the broken?

Every person who has been hurt, ever.

Every person who has been rejected, ever.

Every person who has been battered, physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually.

Ever.

Jesus came yo let us know that the lowliest in the status order meant as much to Him as the upper class.

For we are all broken, although we may not always show it to those around us.

God not only sees our brokenness, and the pain, hurt, anguish and turmoil it causes us…He experienced it.

Jesus died broken.
Physically brutalized.
Emotionally drained.
Mentally mocked and ridiculed.
Spiritually feeling disconnected.
As He died on the cross
Publically.

His sacrifice switched how we view brokenness forever.

God loves us so much, He has made a way for all who are broken.

To be made whole again.

To have a purpose.

To live out the plan He has for us.

To be loved, to receive love.

To know without a shadow of a doubt:

Brokenness is not a sign of shame.

Brokenness in our Creator’s hands becomes our strength as His strength and healing flows into the places where we are, to become were, broken.

He takes the broken shards, and like a mosaic, fashions something even more amazing than the original. The new us He knew we would be when we place our shatteredness in His hands.

Take courage if you are in a season of brokenness.

God will come.

God is here.

God restores.

Nothing is impossible for Him.

No brokenness, no matter what it is, places you out of His reach.

Anything is possible. 😉

broken

Karla Lees

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

You hear the cry of the broken… You hear the cry of the broken. You answer the cry of the broken…You answer the cry of the broken.

-Darlene Zschech

I hit broken again this Tuesday.

I was out of the blue suddenly whammied kind of hurt in a very unexpected, deep way by someone I absolutely adore.

And it broke me in a way I didn’t expect.

I was so hurt, I could barely speak. Since my throat had been bugging me over the past while, I don’t think anyone noticed.

God did.

He knew the crying that was surging with every painful heart beat on the inside.

He knew it was hard to breathe, let alone avoiding breaking down.

How crushed I felt in my soul.

And in the middle of that broken, hurting place, He met me.

I picked up my guitar, and offered genuine praise despite my heavy brokenness. He listened.

I shared briefly with a few friends, and asked them to pray. He listened.

My silence spoke louder than I realized, for the person later the next day contacted me to share what had been really going on on their inside, which had nothing to do with me. They apologized for venting, and relationship was restored.

There are times when the risk to love deeply means we will be cut deeply by those we love.

But love is always worth it.

Jesus is the best example of that kind of love.

He loved us so much, He willingly enfolded Himself into human form, and loved among us. He was rejected by many He loved, hurt by betrayal, left alone. His body was battered and broken, because of His love.

The pain must have cut Jesus deeply.
The coming reward must have been enough to help Him stay focused on the plan, not His pain.

Abraham, offering his son of promise, Issac, to the God who gave Him the promise & that miracle son, would have been a broken man as he made the preparations in obedience to hearing God’s voice.

God as Father did nothing less with us as He let Jesus die on the cross. A broken hearted Father, watching His son broken for the sins of the world.

The broken are precious to God.
He never leaves us in our brokenness. Instead, He loves us into who He designed us to be.

Whole.
Wholly loved.
Treasured.
Beloved.

Being broken was never meant to be a permanent state of being, but only a temporary stop in your life.

Don’t miss out on what God has for you and who He has for you to be because you cannot see beyond your brokenness.

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